Live Your Best Life!
We all want to live our best life. No-one says, "When I grow up I want to be miserable and overwhelmed working 60 hour weeks !" or, "I want to be a middle manager so I can spend my day running between meetings counting the weeks & months until my next vacation".
For many of us, the dream of becoming an adult and "living the good life" has left us exhausted and feeling like we are on a big hamster wheel - running, running, running and never making progress.
Are you in a J.O.B. that makes you feel unfulfilled or unvalued?
Have the shifts in family and work life balance of the past few years disproportionally or negatively affected you?
Have the economic challenges of 2020 - 2022 meant that your adult children are moving into your house with their young families to make ends meet?
Remember when you couldn't wait for your "grown up" life to get started? Do you remember the excitement and the dreams? Are you living your dream or are you disillusioned with reality?
It doesn't have to be this way. If you're ready to take charge and step into your best life, we're ready to support and guide you. You're in control. What are you waiting for?
Your Best Life
At ME-HER-US, we believe that living a fulfilling life is more important than being happy. Why? Because happiness is fleeting and impermanent; it won't strengthen our resolve or perseverance during the tough times - and let's face it, there are always going to be times that test us.
Fulfillment is about being connected to something that sustains us; a vision that is bigger and bolder than ourselves. It is a mission and a calling that keeps us going when the going is challenging.
Simon Sinek, author and motivational speaker, explained the difference between happiness and fulfillment this way: "We don't always like our children, but we always love them. "
At ME-HER-US, we believe your best life is about being fulfilled in your work, play, home, relationship and spiritual realms. If you are not fulfilled in one or more of these areas, then everything is impacted in some way - small or large.
REALITY...
We're Stressed and Burning Out!
In the past two years, burnout rates among women have increased while rates for men have decreased.
Let’s stop for a moment to process that statement again!
During an unprecedented global pandemic, a time of school closures, economic downturn, social turmoil as well as social and economic uncertainty, burnout rates among men dropped.
Most women are NOT surprised! Let's expose some of the elephants in the room
First, as much as we talk about how the roles of men have changed in the past 20 - 30 years, the reality is that women still carry the majority of the child-rearing and emotional support responsibility in families; even families without children.
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Second, the workplace is different for women. And the source of that difference is rooted in other people's expectations of a woman's role and her behavior. These "other people" are not just men, it's other women too! The unspoken rules that govern a woman's behavior and her work allocation are not only unfair, they're heavily entrenched at societal and unconscious levels. And not only don't these rule apply to men, men are actually directly benefiting.
WE CAN CHANGE THIS!
TOGETHER - OUR MISSION!
We are dedicated to teaching women how to go from
STUCK to UNSTUCK!
EXHAUSTED to EXHILARATED!
BURNED OUT to TURNED ON!
WORN OUT to ON FIRE!
How?
We bring women together in community to hold space for each other and share deep connection.
We show you how to identify what's not working in your life and how you can implement lasting change.
We walk with you in support of the changes you want to implement.
We never judge, shame or guilt you - We know change is hard and we're there to hold you during the successes, the stumbles and the breakthroughs.
We believe that Leadership is not a Title. It's what women do everyday! And leadership is not a solitary endeavor. It's exhausting when we do this alone! Working together, in support of each other, we succeed in bringing forward the changes that we need and understanding that we truly are not alone!
We give you all the tools you need to transform your life, your work, your relationships and your future
We tackle the stuff that gets in YOUR way!
Are you a professional "starter"?
Change is hard! And most of us have tried to change something about our situation more than once. We've done it so often, we're professionals when it comes to "starting" a change. It doesn't matter whether it's dieting, asking for a raise, moving to a new position or embarking on significant life events like divorce. Often, we've tried so many times that we've grown weary of trying and failing.
Have you found yourself making bargains with yourself or others only to find yourself back in the same situation a few months or weeks later?
We did too.
Change is Possible!
There are specific reasons that make change difficult and we tackle them directly in our program. That's what makes us different. That's why we can absolutely tell you the change you want to make to live your best life is possible and within your grasp!
Community Matters
We are always in a state of changing and growing along with everyone else. Our brain finds so much change deeply scary. It convinces us that staying safe (not changing) is better. But eventually, playing safe becomes problematic because it doesn’t get us what we want - what we really need to be truly fulfilled. Moreover, since everyone else is doing the same (playing safe), when we start to change, we make them feel unsafe. They tell us “Change Back - this is no good" and we spend cycles trying to conform to other people’s expectations.
That’s why finding a group of people doing the same work you’re doing is critical for success. This is why group programs focused on weight loss, exercise and financial management have better success outcomes than "going it alone".
When we're working to address deeply held beliefs about ourselves, our value and cultural expectations of women it’s not just any group that can help. This work is hard and requires vulnerability. If you feel judged or shamed, or others are telling you what you should or shouldn’t be doing, you can’t feel safe to open up. You need to be with a group of people willing to just listen without judgement or attachment to your progress. You need to know that you are the only person that can decide what is right for you at any time. Your only need from others is community and validation.
We Tackle OPC Head-on
Hear us on this one! This is a huge dilemma that is a MUST for dealing with change and making it stick. You might be wondering, What is OPC?
OPC is our term for "Other People's Crap" (we're happy to rename it to OPS if you prefer). We've all experienced this! It's typically any statement that begins with "you're not" and ends with "enough" .....
You're not skinny enough
You're not dark enough
You're not soft spoken enough
You're not selfless enough
We consider OPC to be hugely destructive to women. Learning to discern what is your real "stuff" to work through vs what are other people's opinions and judgements is core to healing ourselves. Let's not deceive ourselves, we all walk around with a program in our head about why we are never enough. We spend countless hours trying to change things that are OPC! We will go crazy if all we do is work on this. The only stuff that matters is the stuff WE own and WE truly want/need to understand is limiting us.
It's more than MindSet
Did you notice the larger font? It's not a mistake or an accident! Navigating a change - a BIG life change - is about more than your mindset or reciting affirmations. Stop it!
The truth is that there are very real limitations and societal/systemic issues that affect women, women of color, women of visible ethnicities and LGTBQ+ women. PERIOD. No amount of mindset work or positive affirmations are going to change these larger issues. Being told that all you need to do is change your mindset is destructive and shaming.
So does that mean we don't need to work on our Mindset? NO! but the work we need to do is about SO much more and if we're not doing that other work, making change "stick" will be hard.
Your mindset, habits, coping skills and behaviors developed to keep you safe and alive. You can recite mantras, affirmations and checklists to discipline yourself to other ways of thinking. Their success will be limited because that which you are working to change came into being to keep you safe. It is a healthy adaptation to an early life experience. Your work is to understand, why you do what you do, how it's keeping you safe and then you can assess if this coping style is something you want to release.
The B Word
No not that B word. The B word we're talking about here is boundaries.
Boundaries are important and learning to identify yours, advocating for yourself to enforce them and then holding yourself accountable is the second hardest thing we'll work on in this program.
Many women don't know or understand what healthy boundaries look like because more often than not, we've been shamed, guilted or berated when we tried to advocate for ourselves. And those of us that have experienced trauma in our lives know that boundaries are highly triggering.
But the work of establishing boundaries starts with a heart to heart with ourselves - internally - before they can be effectively managed with others. As Rachel Rogers says in her book, "We Should All Be Millionaires"
"you have ... boundaries to protect your time, your money, your effort, your labor, your love, your happiness and your overall well-being"
Notice, there is nothing here about "other people". Boundaries are about you, what matters to you, and what keeps you living a life fulfilled.
The Other B Word
YEP! The one that rhymes with Stitch. Ladies, we're hard on each other and hard on ourselves. But until we can stand together, nothing is going to change. Learning to see each other as human, with flaws as well as gifts is an important part of healing the societal wounds and systemic issues that hold us all back.
This is the hardest work we do in the program. We learn how to love ourselves. All of ourselves - our good parts and our shadow self; the parts of ourselves that we don't like and we try to hide.
Change is about doing the hard work of sitting with our emotions, our wrongs, our judgements, and learning to give ourselves grace. You are going to stumble. You are going to avoid the feelings and the work. But showing up consistently, building self-awareness and just being willing to sit with the feelings that come up, is the work you need to do. Giving yourself grace and practicing self compassion in those times when it’s hard or we stumble, is critical to moving forward.
And here's the big secret, when we learn to love ourselves and show ourselves compassion, it naturally extends to other women!
About ME
From 2011 thru 2016, I struggled with burnout. I felt broken; exhausted beyond imagining, numb and deeply ambivalent about everything. And, when I really thought hard about it, I had been feeling this way for years. There so was much I didn’t know or understand at the time, but I knew: Moving to a new job was not a solution. Spa days, massages, or vacations were not helping to fix what ailed me.
There was a day in September 2015, when in conversation with my husband, I said I would keep working, but my exhaustion was so pervasive that, without something changing, I was only going to be alive another 12-18 months. I wasn't being melodramatic, it was just a deep certainty of the emotional and health impact of my situation.
Everything changed that day - not for me, for him. For the prior two years, we'd discussed my desire for a break from work. But financially, how do you leave a good career with excellent salary and benefits; it wasn’t like either of us were spring chickens at 51 and 57. And, with 3 children under 10, the smart decision was to just continue to “tough it out”. But hearing me say, "this is literally killing me", clicked something deep inside both of us - it was life and death.
So, in February 2016, the day before my youngest's seventh birthday, I did the unthinkable - I walked away from my career with absolutely no plan! The only plan I had was that I was going to take twelve months off. It's what I thought I needed to sleep, rest and do something (anything) that was not emotionally overwhelming; anything where I could find some acceptance or feel valued, needed or wanted. Mostly, I was saddened and anxious because I didn't know how I had led myself to this point. How had I done everything I was supposed to do to "be happy" and yet find myself completely miserable? It turned out twelve months wasn’t enough time. Ten months after my self-imposed “break” my anxiety about returning to work was so extreme I couldn’t even update my resume.
The past 6 years have been a long, hard won battle back to myself. Through my journey, I learned who I really am, what I need and the gifts I bring to the world. I’ve learned to stand for myself and in doing so, to model for those around me what it means to practice self-compassion. I learned that many things I was told were “my” issues are not, and I learned to own and work through those things in me that were mine to address. And because I've done this work, I know it's possible to successfully implement whatever you need to create your best life.
Is it easy? No.
Is it possible? Yes.
It took me five years of reading, research, therapy, school work, practice and work because this program was not available at the time. I want to save you the time and the stumbles. I'm a Gestalt Professional Certified Coach, a Certified Level 2 Women's Circle Facilitator, and I bring more than 30+ years of Corporate Leadership experience to my work. If you're ready to change your situation and start living your best life, I'm ready to support you!
What You Get When You Join
Curious to know what's involved and what you get in the program?
We give you everything you need to move you from STUCK to UNSTUCK.
One on One Coaching
As soon as you register until the last day of our program, we will meet regularly for 45 mins of one on one coaching. As a Gestalt Professional Certified Coach, we will leverage Gestalt principles to build your awareness into what you're doing and why.
Gestalt's theory of change is based on the paradox that people change by becoming more fully themselves rather than trying to make themselves be something or someone they are not. Becoming aware of what we are doing and the reasons behind that leads to a greater understanding of ourselves. That leads us to being able to choose if our behavior or habits are serving us in the ways we really want.
We start each session with your agenda for our time and your goal for what you want to achieve. Together we will co-create an explorative session to surface knowledge you're holding but may not recognize.
My role is to guide you to notice what's happening in the present moment as we explore your topic. Building awareness of what's happening in you is a precursor to understanding your motivations, coping strategies and leads directly to choice.
The focus of our sessions is to facilitate your learning, growth and support you through the entire process.
Transformative Women's Circles
Welcome to the magic! Weekly conversation, learning, healing and processing time that will transform the work you're doing.
This will quickly become your favorite part of your week. Our circle time is sacred. It's where we come together in community to share our ups and downs, our successes and our worries with our fellow sisters.
Circle is where we are held and supported without judgement.
The magic of circle is in finding our voice, proclaiming our needs and uttering our deepest desires without fear. It's probably the only place in our lives where the people with us are not attached or invested in what we share. That is true freedom - to know that we are accepted, heard and held without scrutiny. We give each other the freedom to sort out all the messy stuff we can't say in front of our boss, neighbor, partner, children, In-Laws, etc.
Circle time combines movement, sharing, reviews of learning outcomes for the week and other work to connect with what's happening.
Regular Assignments, Reading and Book Work
Resources, videos, interactive worksheets and reference materials to explain, provide context and learning on the core topics covered in our Program. We'll cover topics like:
- What is Burnout
- How is Burnout similar and different from Stress
- Why stress is necessary
- Good Stress vs Unhealthy Stress
- Why women get stuck with "house work" at work and at home.
- How house work, playing "nice" and being helpful are holding you back at work.
- Ways in which Women self-sabotage at work.
- Why it's so hard to say what we really want or mean.
- How to discern what's my stuff to work on and what's OPC
- How do I figure out what work is meaningful or fulfilling for me
- Dealing with fear
- Knowing when we need help
Admission to our Transformative program is currently closed.
Sign up for our waitlist to be the first to hear when program enrollment opens.
SIGN ME UP FOR THE WAITLIST
ME-HER-US is about building a tribe; a community where we can support each other - not just in the challenges but in the humor too.
Leadership is not a title
Every woman is a leader every day; in our homes, extended families, neighborhoods, schools, workplaces, churches, communities, and so on. Whether you realize it or not, women and girls are looking at you every moment and learning how to advocate for themselves by observing you.
You are a leader, a mentor and a guide.
And, if you're like many of us, you're exhausted.
Our mission at ME-HER-US is to support you to be your best version of yourself. We provide a place where all women can rest and be heard. We believe that when we are held, seen and heard, we can find the strength to keep going because we have connection and community.
We are not alone.
Our programs guide you to identify limiting beliefs, unresolved pain or emotional responses that are blocking your progress. If you are working hard and not achieving results, something is getting in your way.
